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Suddenly Boom, Crash, Bang!! the door slamed it was my uncle rushing threw to trying to try and shoot me with the toy gun owl you got me that really hert he just lauhged and smiled at me. Creep, Creep, Creep!!. Out came my sister shoot I yelled
Good use of onomatopoeia's. It definitely makes your story more interesting. Don't forget punctuation though.
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